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Finding friendship as an adult is a topic I keep coming back to. I have a few good friends, but have noticed the older we get the less in...

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO MAKE FRIENDS AS AN ADULT?

November 05, 2013


Finding friendship as an adult is a topic I keep coming back to. I have a few good friends, but have noticed the older we get the less in common we have. We all chose different careers, we're all on different schedules, we're dating completely different types of guys and we are at separate stages in our lives. So the older I get the more and more I crave finding adult friends who didn't know me when I was a fourteen year old in high school. I like the idea of meeting someone who only needs to know things about me that I choose to tell them. I also think it would be nice to find a friend who has similar interests with me. Someone who enjoys traveling, to have a drink at a bar, go to museums or art galleries, or maybe a cooking class.

But WHY I ask is it so hard to find these types of friends as an adult?

Remember when you were a child and you could just go up to another kid and just say "Hi" and you instantly were friends? You had no insecurities and knew if you didn't hit it off with that one, you would make friends with someone else. All you had to worry about was having fun. Now as an adult we have so many insecurities and so much baggage that it makes starting a new relationship that much harder and takes all of the fun out of it.

My older sister Alex and I very frequently talk about this, because she herself has been trying to find friends and is finding it almost as hard as dating. If you think about it though, finding a friend is really like finding a mate minus the intimacy part. You want to impress this person and make them laugh and sound interesting, without coming off too strong or desperate. It's also tricky knowing the appropriate time to ask for their number. I have found on the two occasions when I have asked for a girl's number, they looked at me for a split second like I was trying to pick them up. But seriously, I want their number to be their friend, is that too much to ask! I mean come on, I thought we hit it off, I made her laugh, we have things in common, she likes my dog. Geez, I feel like a desperate guy trying to get a date here. But instead I am a lonely friendless girl living in France, looking for an unsuspecting woman to hang out with. I know it doesn't help that I live in France and can barely speak French, maybe if I go after the expats I will have better luck. So for now I continue my search and will keep trying to put myself out there in hopes to find someone who is looking for a new friend.

Do you find it hard to find friends as an adult? Do you have any tips on how to make it easier?

(Photo via Rebelle Society)

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